Homophobia
by Race Baj 2.0
Summary: I finally finished now, glad to be over with it, I don't like this fic at all :(
1. What started it all

Note From Author: Hey everyone, this is a collection of short sort of dumb plotted fics that are so short I won't release them by themselves. Without further ado, our first collection is a moment in the Brotherhood house, the song is inspired from the Simpsons, it is sort of to a tune as well (also in the episode)

  
  
  
  


(Lance, and Pietro are in the Brotherhood house.)

  
  


Lance: I am so nervous, my first date with Kitty!

  
  


Pietro: relax Lance.

  
  


Lance: I can't relax! We are going to the movies! I always get in fights with the ushers!

  
  


*Weird music plays*

  
  


Pietro: Now what you gotta do

If you want a kiss

Is act reeeeal smoooooth 

And make your move like this

  
  


*Yawns and puts his arm around Lance*

  
  


Lance: Oh I see.

So If I take your advice

And make your patented move

Then my chances for love

May slightly improve 

  
  


*Lance copies Pietro's move*

  
  


Pietro: Now what's that rule?

  
  


Lance: play it coooool

  
  


*Todd is hanging above them on a light with a video camera.*

  
  


Todd: Real smooth!

  
  


*hops out laughing. Lance stares blankly for a minute and turns to Pietro looking vengefully.*

  
  


Pietro: I fail to see how this is my- *runs off with Lance chasing him*


	2. I AM NOT GAY

(Lance is following Kitty down the halls of Bayville high)

  
  


Lance: Kitty!

  
  


Kitty: Lance, it is ok. I respect your choice.

  
  


Lance: I AM NOT GAY!

  
  


*the students in the hall look at him*

  
  


Lance:... well I'm not.

  
  


(Pietro comes in the hall following a group of girls)

  
  


Pietro: I swear there is a logical explanation.

  
  


Girl 1: What?

  
  


Pietro: ... Lance made a move on me!

  
  


Lance: Pietro!

  
  


Pietro: Hey, just because I said no to your 'desires' 

  
  


*Lance turns red*

  
  


Lance: I am not gay.

  
  


(Scott walks by holding a picture of Lance and Pietro that Todd took.)

  
  


Scott: Nice job Alvers, I think you make a cute couple. *laughs*

  
  


Lance: I hate my life.

  
  


(Kitty starts walking away)

  
  


Lance: Kitty wait! Last night went well right? How about we go out again.

  
  


Kitty: Lance trying to convince yourself won't work, admit you slide against the grain, its ok.

  
  


Lance: Kitty, if I was into guys I wouldn't go with Pietro.

  
  


Kitty: Lance, don't think that a relationship will ruin your friendship with him. Don't worry.

  
  


Lance: friendship? Relationship? Why is it so easy to believe that I am gay?

  
  


Kitty: Lance, its ok, many guys have taken your choice. Besides, living with Pietro all the time, that charm and good looks must have made you make a few choices.

  
  


Lance: What! No! That's not- charm? Good looks? Don't tell me you buy that!

  
  


Kitty: All I'm saying that if he didn't have an ego... and if you didn't have your heart set on him, I may have wanted him as a backup.

  
  


Lance: What!?! How did the conversation drift to you fantasies with Pietro!?! And I am not gay!

  
  


Kitty: Lance, this conversation is getting old.

  
  


Lance: I'll say! I am straight. Look!

  
  


*Lance kisses Kitty*

  
  


Kitty: Lance you did that last night and it didn't convince me.

  
  


*Lance looks around for a girl. Just then Rogue passes by. Lance dips Rogue and kisses her then puts her upright and grins at Kitty... then realizes that it was Rogue*

  
  


Lance:... ah crap.

  
  


*Lance faints* 

  
  


Kitty: Will he be ok?

  
  


Rogue: Hopefully, it wasn't long... but the school will have a large amount of earthquakes today.

  
  


(Kitty and Rogue walk down the halls, Rogue occasionally stumbles at the ground shakes.)


	3. Not Lance's Day

(Lance is sitting in a the schools uh... Hospital part. Its from Lance's view and it starts all blury)

  
  


Lance: Oh, my head.

  
  


School Nurse's Voice: You are finally awake? You had a fainting spell I guess.

  
  


Lance: Oh, it hurts.

  
  


School Nurse's Voice: Don't worry Mr. Alvers you will be fine, take some Advil.

  
  


Lance: yeah ok.

  
  


*Gets handed the Advil and some water and he takes it*

  
  


Lance: So- AH!

  
  


*The Nurse walks into view as Lance's vision comes back but he sees Pietro in the nurse's uniform (despite it being the real nurses voice)*

  
  


Nurse: Mr. Alvers?

  
  


Lance: No... no it can't be!

  
  


Nurse: Mr. Alvers are you ok?

  
  


*Lance backs away to the head of the bed curled in a ball*

  
  


Lance: Stay back!

  
  


Nurse: Mr. Alvers you aren't feeling well.

  
  


Lance: Keep your sick perverted tricks to yourself!

  
  


Nurse: Mr. Alvers!

  
  


Lance: Dear God no!

  
  


*Lance runs out of the room screaming into the halls, Todd hops up to him, but to lance it looks like Pietro*

  
  


Todd: What's up yo?

  
  


Lance: Pietro!

  
  


Todd: No... Todd.

  
  


Lance: keep away from me.

  
  


*Fred comes up from behind but he looks like Pietro to Lance*

  
  


Lance: I'M NOT HAVING A GAY FANTASY!

  
  


Fred:... that's nice to know.

  
  


Lance: NO! Leave me alone! All of you!

  
  


*Lance runs through the hall again, he runs into Kitty and Rogue*

  
  


Rogue: Feeling better hot shot?

  
  


Kitty: Lance are you, like ok?

  
  


*Lance sees them as Pietro and screams running off. He turns the corner and sees a Pietro, finally he slugs him and his vision gets back to normal, revealing to him he just knocked out Principal Kelly.*

  
  


Lance: This is not my day...


	4. And it continues

*Lance is sitting in the Lunchroom, eating alone, a teenage boy walks up to him*

  
  


Boy: Hello, my name is Mark, I have been asked by the gay community from Bayville high to talk to you.

  
  


Lance: Shouldn't you talk to someone better, LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS GAY!

  
  


Mark: Now Lance, can I call you Lance?

  
  


Lance: no!

  
  


Mark: good, now Lance, you have to admit it, embrace the gayness.

  
  


Lance: your wasting your breath

  
  


Mark: Embrace the inner beast trying to claw out! Embrace your fellow man!

  
  


Lance: I'll embrace you with my right fist!

  
  


Mark: Lance, please talk like a civilized person, it will help so much.

  
  


Lance: Ok, read my lips. I am not gay!

  
  


Mark: Your lips say no but your actions say yes.

  
  


Lance: Stay away from me.

  
  


Mark: Lance!

  
  


Lance: What!

  
  


*Mark leans over, grab's Lance's head and kisses him*

  
  


Mark: Now wasn't that eye opening. 

  
  


*Lance screams like a mad man and runs*

  
  


Lance: Water! WATER! Disinfectant!

  
  


*Lance leaves and seconds later the loud speaker comes on*

  
  


Principal Kelly: Whoever assaulted me this morning please report to the principal's office.

  
  
  
  
  
  


A/N: It never occurred to me that this may be offense to some people. I mean no disrespect to anyone and if someone is by this story I am very sorry.


	5. The Plot Unravels

(Kitty and Rogue are sitting in their room Kitty looks very sad and Rogue is reading a book)

  
  


Kitty: *sighs*

  
  


*Rogue continues reading her book*

  
  


Kitty: *sighs louder*

  
  


*Rogue reads her book and ignores Kitty*

  
  


Kitty: *sighs very loud*

  
  


Rogue: Alright! Kitty what's wrong?

  
  


Kitty: Oh nothing.

  
  


Rogue: Arghh!

  
  


Kitty: Ok fine. I really liked Lance.

  
  


Rogue: So?

  
  


Kitty: Rogue, he is gay!

  
  


Rogue: Then do something about it.

  
  


Kitty: Like what?

  
  


Rogue: Well, go and use your womanly charm to seduce him back to heterosexualism.

  
  


Kitty: As weird as that sounds I think I will.

  
  


(Kitty leaves determinedly)


	6. Oh what a tangled web we weave

(Lance walks down the halls angrily. Chuckling evilly. He walks up to Mark.)

  
  


Lance: Hi Mark.

  
  


Mark: Oh hi Lance... feeling... better?

  
  


Lance: Uh... yeah... whatever. Well anyway, since the cat is already out of the bag the rest of the brotherhood thought we would come clean.

  
  


Mark: you mean... all of you?

  
  


Lance: Yeah, the whole 'gang.' Anyway we have decided to throw a party at our place.

  
  


Mark *interested*: Really?

  
  


Lance: Yeah. And you can get that whole... gay community of Bayville thing to come, heck get every guy you know to come, all are welcome. 

  
  


Mark: That sounds great Lance.

  
  


Lance: Right, anyway there is something you should know.

  
  


Mark: Oh...?

  
  


Lance: Well Pietro saw me talking to you, and afterwards commented on how good looking you were.

  
  


Mark: Really?

  
  


Lance: Yeah, I'm sure he would appreciate it if you came too.

  
  


Mark: *grins* oh I'll be there.

  
  


Lance: Great, 7:30, pass it on.

  
  


Mark: Perfect.

  
  


(Mark leaves. The Brotherhood are walking in the hall and Lance stops them.)

  
  


Lance: Guys.

  
  


Todd: What is it yo?

  
  


Lance: Yours truly just got a big party arranged at our house tonight.

  
  


Pietro: Who is invited.

  
  


Lance: Most of the girls in Bayville.

  
  


Pietro: Excellent. 

  
  


Todd: Great job yo.

  
  


Fred: They will all bring food right?

  
  


Lance: Good bye Fred.

  
  


(The rest of the brotherhood walk away)

  
  
  
  


Lance: If I'm going down I'm taking them with me... that just sounded very wrong.

  
  
  
  


(A/N: Ok, sorry for these very short chapters. I just feel that every sort of scene needs its own chapter. But don't worry, they will start to get longer)


	7. When We Practice To Decive

(The Brotherhood House, Pietro, Lance, Todd, and Fred wait with all the necessary party supplies wait. A loud crew pulls up in several vans)

  
  


Todd: They are here.

  
  


Pietro: Stand back ladies, Pietro is ready for loving.

  
  


Lance: I'm sure you are.

  
  


(Lance goes into the kitchen and slips out the window. Pietro goes and answers the door to be met face to face with Mark.)

  
  


Mark: The party is here!

  
  


*Before Pietro can talk the whole group of guys barge through. On the outside of the house. Lance bolts the door, and the windows as the part goes on.*

  
  


Pietro: What's going on here?

  
  


Todd: I don't know, but its scary.

  
  


*Fred is curling in the corner scared. Pietro tries to go to the door but Mark cuts in and starts dancing with him*

  
  


Mark: care to dance?

  
  


Pietro: No I don't!

  
  


Mark: Ah, playing hard to get are we.

  
  


Pietro: Todd get this psycho off me!

  
  


*Meanwhile Todd is banging at the door and trying to open it.*

  
  


Todd: Its locked! No! Oh God no!

  
  


*Fred is still in the corner*

  
  


Fred: So... queer.

  
  


(Kitty walks up to the Brotherhood's house and knocks on the door. Nothing happens. She can hear the music inside.)

  
  


Kitty: That's odd *tries the door* its locked.

  
  


*kitty phases her head inside and sees the party, gasps and phases her head back out*

  
  


Kitty: oh no... I'm too late!

  
  


(Kitty walks into her room looking disappointed. Rogue looks over at her.)

  
  


Rogue: *sigh* what's wrong now.

  
  


Kitty: Lance is, like, having a party.

  
  


Rogue: So?

  
  


Kitty: An all guy party!

  
  


Rogue: Well Kitty, there is only one thing you can do to help now.

  
  


Kitty: Anything!


	8. Conculsion Thankfully

(The Brotherhood minus Lance are sitting at a table in the cafeteria. He comes and sits down with them)

  
  


Lance: *grinning* so did you like your surprise last night?

  
  


Pietro: Well the party was lame but Kitty's appearance was great.

  
  


Lance: Kitty was there?!?

  
  


Fred: oh yeah, ALL of her.

  
  


Lance: What?

  
  


Todd: Well kitty just phased through the door completely.

  
  


Pietro: Stark.

  
  


Fred: Naked.

  
  


Lance: Your lying!

  
  


Pietro: Just ask Mark he was there.

  
  


Lance: but that's... that's not possible!

  
  


Pietro: You better believe it Lance, of course that really broke up the party.

  
  


Lance: but-

  
  


Fred: exactly.

  
  


*Kitty walks by and Fred, Todd, and Pietro wolf whistle. Kitty's face turns red and she hurries away*

  
  


Pietro: You see that Lance.... Lance?

  
  


*Lance is banging his head on the table*

  
  


Lance: I hate my life...

  
  


(A/N: Ok I know, a terrible ending, but it was a terrible fic. I hope to do better next time, but I don't think its possible to do worse then this ^_^; I am truly sorry for this fic and any offense it has caused, quite frankly I'm ashamed of it)


End file.
